I got an interesting phone call from my sister this evening, asking me to try to dissuade her daughter from pursuing the idea of getting a pet bunny. Evidently my niece has a friend who has a couple of pet rabbits, and what do you know they have some new bunnies or will shortly. Unfortunately rabbits, either because they are totally unaware of the stereotype attached to them or because they really just don't care, are quite the little breeders.
Well I did what any responsible brother and uncle would do, I told her that rabbits are the BEST pets you could ever have. I told her that you can teach them to do all sorts of tricks (like hiding in a hat for a magic show), and that they were super cuddly. I mean what little kid wouldn't love a pet bunny.
I know, I shouldn't have. I should have told her that rabbits look a lot friendlier than they actually are. That they really don't want anything to do with you. That you can't teach them tricks, take them for walks, or expect them to curl up at the foot of the bed and keep your feet warm. That really all they're good for is turning vegetables into organic fertilizer, and making more little bunnies.
But here's the thing. I had a bunny when I was a little kid. I don't even remember why. I think that I won it in some sort of raffle or something. Anyway, it doesn't matter where it came from, it was my first pet, and it was my first real responsibility. Oh yeah, and it was completely boring. It took me about a week to get completely tired of this poor bunny. And then he started spending more and more time in his cage which got cleaned out less and less frequently. And sometimes I would forget to feed it. And one time I forgot to feed it for over a week, and when I did remember to feed it it wasn't hungry anymore. It was dead.
So for some sick reason my sister used this as her rational for getting me to give the Bunny Talk to her daughter. She enjoys torturing me obviously. I mean that's a horrible guilt-ridden memory that I really enjoy reliving. "Remember that time you starved that cute little bunny to death like it was in a Nazi concentration camp? Do me a favor and tell my little girl that rabbits are bad."
Rabbits aren't bad. They just don't make great pets. If anything, that story only shows that I was just a horrible pet owner. Thanks for that stroll down memory lane Sis. Next time just poke me in the eye with a sharp stick, OK.
P.S. Ivy, you don't really want a pet bunny. They're a lot of work and very little pay off. Just get a kitten, or one of those silly little puppy-poo dogs, trust me on this one honey.